A bit of glitter: service and devotion

Nobody ever said on their deathbed that they wished they'd spent more time at work... oh really?

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Portfolio careers, that’s what we call it now, rather than ‘taking any job you can get and seeing how it works out’. One of the strings to my bow/absolutely batshit things I’ve done in my very odd working life is that I studied to become a puppeteer, a long, long time ago. Yes, you can do that (you’re looking at a woman who managed get an MA in comedy writing, after all). I studied for a year at the Scottish Mask and Puppet Theatre centre in Glasgow, which sort of still exists. It was an amazing experience. I was under the tutelage of John Blundall, an extraordinary man who worked for Gerry Anderson (he designed and made Parker from Thunderbirds) but also introduced me to the Ballet Russes, made us draw and sketch and observe everything all the time, told stories and exploded my tiny Glaswegian mind with ideas and art, music, carpentry and joy. He was quite fierce but taught me so, so much. The centre was founded by Malcolm Knight, a truly wonderful person, who showed me how to be still and gentle and brave in my work. It was a heady mix for a 17-year-old with little experience of the world and the arts and it changed my life absolutely and completely. At the end of it I was presented with some amazing opportunities. One was the chance to go to Russia. I discussed possibilities of travel and training and experiences with Eduard Bersudsky, an artist who created the mind-bending Sharmanka Kinetic Theatre, now based in Glasgow and was kind enough to offer advice to a confused and eager young woman. I also was fortunate enough to be offered an apprenticeship at Jim Henson’s Creature Shop in London.

What did I do? I didn’t do any of it. I thought and thought about it and it just didn’t feel quite right for me.

I’ve just watched Jim Henson: Idea Man and it’s made me think a lot about that time in my life. It would be fair to say that I love Jim Henson and I have been a long-time admirer of his work, but also his work ethic, which is closer to how I think about work and life than almost any other person I can think of - which is potentially not actually that healthy. Jim died at 53 from pneumonia. He worked phenomenally hard, always having several projects on the go, always coming up with new ideas and pushing them harder and harder. I’m not saying I’m a genius like Jim Henson - anything but. However, I’ve always had ideas on the go, I’ve always wanted to keep trying, keep moving, keep going, try new things. One thing I’ve noticed since I’ve been ill is that I keep being told I have to keep going for my child, that they are all that matters and that all I must do is think of them and that they are my legacy. And I just… don’t believe that. They are wonderful and I love them more than anything but they’re not my only achievement and when anyone brings up the hackneyed old ‘nobody wishes they’d spent more time at work’, I think… I do, I wish I’d had more time. I’ve got so much more I wanted to do. And while Jim died tragically young, he did so in the pursuit of more ideas and more achievements and that’s what I wanted. And what I still want, if I’m honest, though it’s getting harder and harder.

Anyway, that’s how I ended up conducting an orchestra/running a theatre company/altering kilts/cutting wigs/dressing up as a golf bag/climbing a mountain with a rucksack full of rocks/doing stand-up comedy/being editorial director of a magazine/taking people into a secret tunnel in a West End theatre/losing most of my wages as I dropped drink after drink in every bar I worked at/commentating on river tours of the Thames/selling tickets at Europe’s largest arts centre/bouncing around a soft play centre attached to a pub and dozens more besides. I always had fun, I always learned something, I always said yes even if it sometimes led me into trouble and I always wanted more. Because what if you say no and you could have had an adventure?

Here’s to saying yes, to working hard, to finding love and yourself.

PS if you haven’t seen this beautiful clip of Jim Henson’s memorial service, you really owe it to yourself to take a minute to watch it…